Ten life skills that can contribute to a healthy family

1. Examine the ways in which your beliefs and attitudes and behaviours about your own body and the bodies of others have been and are shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism. Then educate your loved one about them.

(a) The genetic basis of differences in body types; and
(b) The nature and ugliness of prejudice.

2. Examine closely your dreams and goals for your children and other loved ones. Are you overemphasising beauty and body shape, particularly for women?

(a) Avoid conveying an attitude which says, in effect, 'I will like you more if you lose weight, don't eat so much, look more like the slender models in the ads, fit into slimmer clothes, etc.'
(b) Decide what you can do and stop or reduce teasing, criticism, blaming, staring, etc. that reinforce the vilification of overweight and the glorification of slenderness.

3. Learn about, the disorder and discuss what you have learned with your family members.

(a) The dangers of trying to alter one's body shape through dieting;
(b) The value of moderate exercising towards stamina and cardiovascular fitness
(c) the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.

Also,
(a) Avoid dichotomising foods into 'good/safe/no-fat or low-fat' versus 'bad/dangerous/fattening.' Anything to this effect can fuel the eating disorder.
(b) Be a good role model in regard to sensible eating, sensible exercise, and self-acceptance!
Sensible eating is NOT only eating good wholesome food but also not making an issue of food and what is being eaten.

4. Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move, fitness and function effectively, not to purge fat from your body or compensate for calories eaten.

5. Make a commitment not to avoid activities such as swimming, sunbathing, or dancing simply because they call attention to your weight and shape. Similarly, refuse to wear clothes that are uncomfortable or that you dislike because they divert attention from weight or shape.

6. Practice taking people in general and women in particular, seriously for what they say, feel, and do, not for how slender or 'well put together' they appear.

7. Make a commitment to help your children (both male and female) or your spouse, appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines, and other media distort the true diversity of human body.

8. Make a commitment to educating your family about the various forms of violence against women, including weightism, and their responsibilities for preventing them.

9. Encourage your family and spouse to be active and to enjoy what their bodies can do and feel like. Do not limit their caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.

10. Do whatever you can to promote the self-esteem and self-respect of your family and spouse in intellectual, athletic, and social endeavours. Allow your children the same
Opportunities and encouragement - be careful not to suggest that females are less important than males, e.g. by exempting males from housework and childcare. A well-rounded self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to mindless dieting and disordered eating.